the great battle within

Your number is blinking before me.

Press send, my heart says.

I want you back.

My mind is tapping its foot,

disgusted, reminding the stubborn

heart that’s jumping up and down

that it was once crying in a dark

corner of my chest, refusing to

show its face because of your

malice –

 

My heart rolls its eyes at

my mind, nudging my finger

towards the send button.

I want you back.

I picture your face, I picture

your smile, I imagine your

smell amongst my sheets

and my skin and the thought

of drowning beneath your

whispers and kisses, and

I take a deep breath.

 

My mind runs a movie

for my eyes, flashes of

your angry face, of your lies

and looks of disgust, of myself

sobbing in my car, alone.

My heart glares – it points

to the message, infuriated

at my hesitation.

 

I want you back.

 

My mind sighs.

 

-aev