“we all just want to be seen.”

I’m currently reading Light is the New Black by Rebecca Campbell and so many passages resonate with me. I read it in little bursts, letting the particular message saturate my senses. Today I sat down in the afternoon sunlight and this passage below was what I read. It really hit me. I write a lot of poetry and short stories about wanting to be truly seen, and I believe so many people walk through the day without really looking at anyone, even themselves.

It’s time we confront our souls and embrace the light.


We all just want to be seen, like really seen. Not glanced over and noticed, but for someone to take a moment and really witness the authentic light that flickers just beneath the surface. But we go about our lives, bumping into each other and no taking the time to stop and look.

The most intimate experience of my life was with a 50-year-old Croatian woman I had known for 5 minutes. I didn’t even know her name. We met during a workshop led by Julliard voice coach, Claude Stein. We were mostly a room full of strangers, and he instructed us to turn to the person next to us and look deeply into their eyes. Like REALLY look into their eyes. And witness the gorgeous soul standing directly in front of us. And at the same time, let that person truly see us. The real us. The deeper us. That us that we hadn’t shown anyone before.

Before long, and without exchanging a word, my gorgeous partner and I began to sob. Deeply. It was unlike any other experience of my life. Precious. Sacred. A gift. It felt as though I was being truly seen for the first time in my life. I was humbled and overwhelmed by the beauty of the person before me, who until that point I hadn’t even paused to notice. We carried on like this for 10 minutes. It was one of the best 10 minutes of my life.

After the exercise was over we hugged and looked around the room and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. I found out her name was Sanja, and she is now a true friend and part of my mastermind group.

This experience has been etched on my heart ever since, and made me understand that every human on the planet – no matter how soft or how hard, how open, or closed – just wants to be seen. Like really seen.

The greatest gift we can give another person is to witness truly their being here.

To see deeply and acknowledge the sacred soul that dwells within them and is longing to emerge.

After this, I came to realize how pretty much every problematic relationship I’d ever experienced was a result of either not being seen accurately or not seeing the other person accurately.

It brought to light how much of my life I’d spent holding back my biggest, truest, most authentic self, while secretly hoping someone else might see it. Spot it. Name it and call it forward. I’d spent so long keeping my light dimmed, while deep down hoping that someone would acknowledge all of the immense beauty that bubbled just below the surface. It dawned on me that I had spent too many years waiting for acknowledgment and permission for my brightest, most exuberant self to emerge.

That day marked the beginning of my conscious journey towards seeing the authentic light in other people and shining my own a little more brightly.

You have an authentic inner light, which has always been there and will never go away. An inner fire that no matter how dark it gets will continue flickering.

People can see it just by looking at you. It’s that ‘something special’ that they see. It’s that ‘spark,’ that ‘twinkle’ in your eyes.

Your light is your authentic self and you were born to shine it. You can’t hide a light.”

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